


Flame of Despair - OLD

by astralpenguin



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Abandoned - Being Rewritten, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Name Spelt Kyoko, Character Study, F/F, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-02 18:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10224878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralpenguin/pseuds/astralpenguin
Summary: A look at how Homura Akemi came to know and trust Kyoko SakuraBEING REWRITTEN





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i have so many wips and yet

Homura Akemi and Kyoko Sakura met for the first time about a week into Homura’s new life.

At that point, Homura had no idea how long she would spend reliving the same six weeks. But she had finally gone back to school, and she’d discovered that magical girls and witches existed, so she was already calling it her ‘new life’ in her head.

She’d taken to tagging along with Madoka and Mami when they fought witches. Truthfully, she was worried that they’d get hurt. And she was considering making a wish of her own, so it was a good idea to know what fighting witches was like.

One day, though, there was something unusual (well, a different sort of unusual than normal) in the wards of one of the witches.

Homura was watching the fight through the barrier of yellow ribbons that Mami had made when a flash of red caught her eye.

It couldn’t have been something made by the witch. They were surrounded by screens and carousel horses and everything was so  _ blue  _ that the appearance of the red made very little sense.

The red blur joined the yellow and pink ones that were attacking the witch.

Quickly, it was destroyed.

As the wards faded away, Homura watched the girl in red pick up the grief seed from the ground.

“What are you doing here?” Mami asked. She hadn’t de-transformed and she hadn’t removed the ribbon barrier separating Homura from them. She had her back to Homura, so she couldn’t see her face. But her voice sounded odd, like she was trying to stop it being coloured with emotion. Whether it would’ve been a positive or negative one, Homura couldn’t say.

The girl in red hadn’t de-transformed either. She studied the grief seed in her hand briefly, before holding it to the gem on her chest. It was already bright, but brightened further at the use.

“Kazamino dried up.”

“You said you wouldn’t ever be coming back.”

“I can’t hunt witches if there are no witches to hunt.” The girl in red finally looked up. “Luckily for me Mitakihara seems to be crawling with them.”

“Not so many that we can afford to have grief seeds taken from us.” Mami held out her hand, evidently expecting the girl in red to hand it over.

Instead, she curled her fist around it, and shifted her gaze to Madoka. “Who’s this? Picked up another stray?”

Madoka took a step backwards, clearly slightly intimidated by this older girl. 

Mami didn’t outwardly react. “You weren’t a stray, Miss Sakura.”

“Sure, maybe I wasn’t” said the girl in red, Miss Sakura(?), “but even you’ve got to admit there’s a pattern emerging.”

Mami lowered her hand. “Miss Kaname, this is Kyoko Sakura. She and I used to hunt witches together. Miss Sakura, this is Madoka Kaname. She’s a new magical girl that I’m training.”

Kyoko glanced at where Homura was standing, still blocked by the ribbons. “And who’s the dork in the glasses?”

“That’s Homura Akemi. She’s a friend of Miss Kaname’s and is thinking about becoming a magical girl herself.”

Kyoko sighed, and de-transformed. She threw the grief seed at Mami so fast that she wasn’t able to catch it. Instead it bounced off of her and rolled on the floor to where Madoka was standing. She giggled lightly as she scooped it up, following suit and transforming out of her magical girl outfit as well. Mami seemed to sigh in relief, before also changing back and finally removing the barrier that Homura was behind.

Kyoko caught Homura’s eye. “Hey, kid.”

“Uh, yes?”

“Don’t do it.”

***

Kyoko and Mami went home together that night, saying that they had a lot to catch up on. Apparently the last time that they’d seen each other they’d gotten into a fight. That had been a year ago. They’d both been alone ever since.

Homura and Madoka didn’t want to begrudge them the chance to reconcile. Besides, this meant they had more time with just each other.

As they walked home, they talked about the evening’s events.

“Mami mentioned that she was lonely. She said that she’d worked with another magical girl before, but that they’d ended up have a major disagreement about fighting familiars, and that they couldn’t work together anymore. You think that was her?”

“It makes sense.” Homura replied.

“I was so scared for a second that a fight was going to break out!” said Madoka.

“So was I.” Homura slipped her hand into Madoka’s. “I think Miss Tomoe was too, a little.”

“I’m glad that it didn’t.” Madoka sighed, and squeezed Homura’s hand.

“Yeah.”

***

It was decided that Kyoko would be staying in Mitakihara. At least until after Walpurgisnacht had been defeated.

(“What?! You knew that Walpurgisnacht was coming here and you didn’t call me?! I know we were upset with each other but come on!!”)

Homura still tagged along with witch hunts. Kyoko made it clear that she disapproved of her being there, but didn’t argue when Madoka insisted. Her chain barriers proved to be hardier than Mami’s ribbon ones, anyway, so she took over the ‘protecting the stubborn muggle’ duties.

“Why shouldn’t I become a magical girl?” asked Homura one day.

“Because it’s going to kill us. We’re going to die for what we wished for. So unless there’s literally no other choice, it isn’t worth it.”

“...If you don’t mind my asking, what did you wish for?”

Kyoko told her. And she told her about the consequences.

Homura vowed that if she did become a magical girl, she wouldn’t make a wish that selfless. That way, if it went wrong, the only one she would be hurting would be herself.

It was a good plan, in a way.

***

Kyoko died first.

She had set about trying to kill the familiars, leaving Mami and Madoka with their long range weapons to attack Walpurgisnacht herself.

But there were so many familiars. And they were so strong.

Some of them she swore looked like the silhouettes of magical girls. Some even looked uncannily like girls that she’d met briefly before. The effect was unsettling. And distracting.

Add that to the sheer amount of them and there’s only so much one person could do.

The moment that Kyoko was killed, no-one was with her. Nobody was even aware. Homura was focusing on Madoka, and the other magical girls were busy trying to kill the massive witch.

Her soul gem shattered.

And nobody noticed.

Moments later, Mami’s gem was struck as well, leaving Madoka to face the fight alone.

***

“I wish I can meet Miss Kaname all over again. But this time, instead of her protecting me, I want to be strong enough to protect her!”

She’d kept the vow she’d made to herself when she’d heard Kyoko’s story. Her wish was in no way selfless.

And the way in which it went wrong meant that she was indeed only really hurting herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> although i actually have a plan for this !! it's written down and everything !!! i even know how many chapters this will be !!!!!
> 
> also i know it's weird having them be referred to as 'miss' but it felt even weirder to write 'san' after their names so that's what i went with


	2. Chapter 2

The involvement of Sayaka Miki made things more difficult.

It was Homura’s own fault, really. Kyubey hadn’t gotten anywhere near her the first or second times. But Homura had said something slightly different this time around which had caused Sayaka to be near Madoka at a crucial moment. And that was that.

When Kyoko arrived, Homura was expecting her and Mami to reconcile like they had before, and for her to fit neatly into their group like she always did.

She knew something wasn’t right when Kyoko didn’t show up when they killed the Box Witch.

Maybe it’s because there were so many of them? Four magical girls in one city was quite a lot, after all. Four magical girls working _together_ in one city could possibly be intimidating for someone on their own, veteran or not.

Whatever the reason, Kyoko didn’t show herself until a few days later. The group had split up. Mami stuck with Madoka, and Homura with Sayaka. The logic was to have the newbies stick with the ones with more experience.

Sayaka and Homura were in the process of disposing of a familiar when a flash of red blocked their way.

“What the hell do you two idiots think you’re doing?”

“What does it look like?” Sayaka shot back. “Get out of our way!”

“Nuh uh. I want to know what you’re hunting familiars for!”

Sayaka looked at Kyoko incredulously. “Because if we don’t they’re going to kill people!”

Kyoko laughed. “Yeah, they are. Then they become witches and you’ll get a grief seed when you _do_ kill them.”

Sayaka moved to draw her sword, but Homura held out her hand to stop her.

“Let go of me.”

“Please don’t fight her.”

“You heard what she said, didn’t you? She’s happy to let innocent people die!”

“Y-yes, I heard. But, please, let’s just go.”

Sayaka opened her mouth to say something, then seemed to think better of it. She nodded. Homura kept her hold on Sayaka’s wrist and stopped time.

When they met back up with Mami and Madoka, Sayaka told them about what had happened. In return, Mami told Sayaka and Madoka about how she used to know Kyoko, and how Kyoko’s perspective on fighting familiars shifted.

“But why did she change her mind?” asked Madoka. “Did something happen?”

Mami hesitated, clearly not wanting to share what she wasn’t sure she had the right to.

“Yes,” said Homura, instead. “Something happened.”

“What?”

“It’s not our place to say.”

“Well I don’t care about her tragic backstory.” Sayaka declared. “That’s girl’s an asshole and if she interrupts another fight I’m going to take her down.”

Homura still didn’t know Sayaka very well. But in that moment she had to admire her confidence. Even if it was misplaced.

***

“We’re all being tricked by Kyubey!”

Homura hadn’t known how to bring it up. So she ended up just blurting it out after they’d finally managed to kill a particularly strong witch.

Mami looked at her quizzically. “What do you mean, Miss Akemi?”

“Don’t you ever think about where witches come from?”

“Not really,” said Madoka, “but didn’t Kyubey say that they’re born from curses?”

“Do you really believe that, though? Do you actually think he’s telling the truth?”

“Miss Akemi, you must be quite tired after -”

Homura cut her off. “In my last run, before I turned back time the last time, I saw what happens when a magical girl runs out of magic. When their soul gem goes completely black.”

“Homura, what are you saying?” asked Madoka.

“Witches are born from magical girls! And Kyubey is hiding that from us!”

Mami and Madoka went quiet. Sayaka decided to speak up.

“Okay, look. Why would Kyubey do something like that? What's he get out of it?”

She didn’t believe her. “Well...”

“Uh-huh. I bet you're just saying that so we all turn against each other.” Sayaka widened her eyes, clearly having made some connection in her mind. “Oh, wait a sec. Are you and Kyoko chick working together? Is that what's going on?”

“No, I’m not!”

She really wasn’t. Why would Homura decide to work with her with things like they were?

Madoka intervened. “Sayaka, wait, stop trying to pick a fight with her.”

Sayaka stared at Madoka, like she couldn’t believe that she’d just taken Homura’s side over hers. “Fine,” she said, “whatever. Do what you want, but I’m not teaming up with that girl anymore. You and Mami use long-range weapons, so it's no biggie for you guys. But when I'm fighting, I don't like it when there's explosions going off in my face. She comes this close to blowing me up every time.”

“She has a point there.” Mami chimes in. “Are there any weapons you can use besides bombs?”

They hadn’t listened. They didn’t believe her. All she’d managed to do was set Madoka’s best friend against her.

It didn’t matter. She could still make sure that nobody, especially not Madoka, let their soul gem darken too much.

“Um, okay, I’ll think of something.”

***

For the first time, Homura was thinking that maybe Kyoko had a point with the whole not-killing-familiars thing. Because it was crucially important to always have enough grief seeds to keep their soul gems purified.

Even with the high number of witches in Mitakihara, there were not enough grief seeds for five magical girls.

It was Sayaka who lost out. She was too proud to admit when she needed one, and she’d insist the others took them unless she’d beaten a witch entirely on her own. Which never happened because nobody ever went anywhere alone.

One day, Sayaka didn’t go into school. She didn’t answer her phone or any messages that Homura or Madoka sent her. She didn’t even look at them. She wasn’t at home when they tried to find her there.

Madoka called Mami.

“We can’t find Sayaka! She wasn’t at school and she’s not at home and she’s not answering her phone!”

“It’s okay, Miss Kaname. Meet me at the fountain in the park.”

When Homura and Madoka reached the fountain, Mami wasn’t alone.

Kyoko looked almost nervous as they approached. As soon as Homura and Madoka were in earshot of them, she started talking.

“Look, I talked to Sayaka last night. And a couple of nights ago, too. And I’ve no idea where she could be but I’d like to try and help you find her.”

“You... talked to her?” Madoka asked.

“Yeah. We talked.” Kyoko looked down at her boots.

“What about?” Madoka asked.

“About why I became a magical girl. And why I act the way I do. I just wanted her to understand.”

Madoka nodded, accepting this answer.

“And did she?” asked Homura.

“She said she got it, but she’d still do her own thing.”

Homura smiled. “That sounds like her.”

Mami suggested that they split up to try and find Sayaka faster. Homura went with Madoka, and Kyoko went with Mami.

It was nearly midnight when they received the message from Mami telling them that Sayaka was at the train station.

Homura and Madoka ran there as fast as they could. They got there to see Kyoko talking quietly to Sayaka, who was slumped on a bench on the platform. Mami was standing a small distance off.

Sayaka must have heard them arrive. She looked up at them. At each of them in turn, with Kyoko last.

Homura didn’t hear what she said next. But she did see her soul gem turn black and shatter.

For a moment Homura didn’t know what to do. She stared as the witch rose up and the wards formed around them. Then it started attacking.

“Dammit!” yelled Kyoko as she blocked the giant wheels that span towards her. “What are you? What have you done to Sayaka?”

Madoka pleaded with the witch that used to be her friend. Begged it to remember who it had been only moments ago. It made no difference.

Homura whispered an apology as she detonated bombs around the Mermaid Witch.

“Sayaka...” Kyoko slammed her fist on a nearby rail. “Dammit! How could this happen?”

Madoka sank to her knees, crying.

Homura was in such a state of shock that she didn’t realise there were ribbons surrounding her until it was too late to do anything about it.

***

When she thought about it later, it made sense that Mami had killed Kyoko first. And it wasn’t just because Kyoko would’ve fought back if she’d figured out what was going to happen (although assuming that Madoka wouldn’t had been a grave miscalculation on Mami’s part).

Kyoko’s father had killed her whole family and then himself, hadn’t he?

By killing her first, Mami had spared her from going through that again.

She’d also ensured there weren’t enough people to stop Walpurgisnacht without Madoka Kaname dying or becoming a witch, so it didn’t really matter in the end anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really didn't feel like writing so had to force myself to write this so i'd stop feeling guilty about it so sorry if it's terrible

“Homura, what are you talking about? There’s a familiar down there! Are you saying we should just let it go!?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, I know you want to fight it. But on this occasion, please can you trust me?”

Sayaka glared at her. “You’d better have a good reason for this, Transfer Student.”

Homura smiled softly. “I do.”

At the other end of the alley Homura could see the flash of red that told her that Kyoko Sakura had departed. Presumably, she was going to try and find Mami.

Maybe they could all actually be friends this time?

***

Madoka was not yet a magical girl. Homura had taken her request to heart and had prevented Kyubey from getting close to her at that crucial moment. But she was still tagging along with their witch hunts. Logically, Homura didn’t have much objection to this. If she wouldn’t stay completely out of it, then at least she should be somewhere where Homura can actively look out for her and keep her eye on her.

Emotionally, though...

Her feelings didn’t make any difference anyway. The group of five quickly became close. Madoka and Sayaka were surprised at how comfortable Mami and Kyoko were around each other. Of course, they’d been like sisters at one point, so it was just a matter of slipping back into old habits.

Sayaka and Kyoko also got along really well. To the point where Madoka and Mami both talked to Homura about it, separately.

“I think it’s good that Miss Sakura is getting along so well with Miss Miki. They make a great team, don’t you think?”

“Sayaka talked to me more about Kyoko during school yesterday than she did Kyosuke! Do you think there’s something going on there?”

Homura didn’t know, but she hoped they were happy.

***

It wasn’t to last.

Just as she had before, Sayaka vanished one night. Despite Homura’s insistence that Sayaka use more grief seeds. That she take better care of herself. Even if Homura wouldn’t tell her why she was so concerned (because that had gone so well before), still Sayaka should have been better off this time!

Apparently not. She was evidently more stubborn than Homura had realised.

As they had before, they split into teams of two to try and find her. Except this time Homura led Madoka straight to the station.

They reached the platform in time to see Sayaka trudge off a train and slump on the bench. Madoka rushed to her side.

“Sayaka! Where have you been! We’ve been so worried!”

“Oh... Hey Madoka.”

“You don’t sound so good. We need to get you home!” Madoka tried to pull Sayaka to her feet, but was unsuccessful. Abandoning the attempt, she sat down next to her properly. She looked Sayaka over. At a guess, Homura would say that Madoka was checking for injuries. Not that she needed to worry, had she forgotten about Sayaka’s healing ability? However, she did find something concerning. “Sayaka! There’s blood on your legs! What happened?!”

Sayaka slowly looked down at the blood splattered on her. “Oh. That. There were some guys. On the train? I don’t remember...” She trailed off.

Madoka pulled her friend into a hug. “It’s okay. So long as you’re okay, it’s fine.” Homura stepped forwards. She took out a grief seed and offered it to Sayaka.

“It’s not fine,” said Sayaka. “I probably killed those men. I don’t remember doing it, but I doubt they’re alive. They were saying gross things but that doesn’t mean I had the right to hurt them. And I’ve been regretting becoming a magical girl in the first place. Did you know that Hitomi asked Kyosuke out today?” Madoka shook her head. “Well now you do. And I figured that I was okay with it so long as I was helping people. But clearly I’m not even good for that.”

“Miss Miki, when was the last time you used a grief seed?” Homura gestured to the one that she was holding. “You need to purify your soul gem, urgently.”

Sayaka looked at it, then up at Homura. “Why? Why should I? I didn’t kill that witch, so why should I benefit from it?”

“Sayaka...”

“Why are you both so nice to me? Why is Mami so nice, and Kyoko so nice? I don’t deserve it. I never did. Why did I ever think I could help?”

Homura darted forwards to grab darkened soul gem out of her hand, but it was too late.

The Mermaid Witch in front of them was immediately relentless in its attack. Homura froze time as fast as she could, placed her bombs, and detonated them.

She picked up the grief seed, then turned back to Madoka.

“Are you alright?”

“Wh-What happened? Where’s Sayaka?”

“She turned into a witch. Her body stayed in the wards.”

“A witch? She turned into a witch? Magical girls become witches?”

“Yes. Surely now you understand why I’m so against you making a contract.”

“You knew about this? Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you warn us?!”

“I’ve tried warning you before. You didn’t listen. Miss Miki especially rejected the idea.”

Madoka shakily rose to her feet. “We have to to tell the others.”

“No!” Madoka jumped, not having expected Homura to yell. “I mean,” she said, “Miss Tomoe can’t know. She’ll take it badly. Really badly. It would break her.”

“And thinking that Sayaka’s dead won’t?”

“She’s dealt with loss like that before. And we’ll all still be there to support her. But she’s fragile. Much more fragile than she lets on. She cannot know.”

Madoka nodded, wrapped her arms around Homura, and cried.

***

They found Kyoko first. She and Mami had split up. It made telling her easier.

“What are you saying? Sayaka turned into a what?!”

“A witch,” said Homura. “It’s what magical girls become when our soul gems get too dark.”

Cursing loudly, Kyoko began attacking the tree beside her. Homura held Madoka back, and watched her.

Eventually, Kyoko spoke. “Is there a way to turn her back?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well we can try! Where is she?”

Homura faltered. Hesitantly, she pulled out the grief seed that had come from the Mermaid Witch. The crescent on the top matched the shape that Sayaka’s gem had formed on her navel.

Kyoko stared at the grief seed hard. Without looking at Homura, she said, “You killed her already.”

“I-I’m sorry. It didn’t occur to me to-”

“No, of course it didn’t. You had  _ her _ to protect.” Kyoko didn’t gesture towards Madoka, but there was no doubt as to who she was referring to. “Why would you think for a moment what would be best for Sayaka?”

It happened so fast that Homura didn’t have time to block out the pain before she felt it. A spear through the head is not a fun experience. She pulled it out immediately and threw it to the ground. Madoka was screaming. Kyoko had sunk to her knees.

Homura blocked the pain. She remained standing up. She didn’t turn to look at Madoka, as much as she wanted to. She knew that her head must look a mess, and that was an optimistic description. She didn’t want to scare her more.

Instead she looked down at Kyoko. She was staring at the grief seed that Homura had dropped, that was Sayaka _ ,  _ and was laughing. She didn’t seem to be aware that she was doing it, either. She reached out and held the grief seed and laughed and made no move to bring it towards her own rapidly darkening gem.

For the second time in one night, someone fell into despair while Homura watched, unable to help.

***

They told Mami that a witch had killed both Kyoko and Sayaka, and that Homura had gotten injured in the fight. Mami was distraught, of course. Not quite to the point where she turned into a witch herself, but enough that her concentration in battle suffered for it, and she was killed quickly once Walpurgisnacht arrived.

And even with the extra grief seeds, Homura wasn’t able to defeat Walpurgisnacht alone. In the end, despite everything she’d seen, Madoka wished for the power to save the city.

And save the city she did.

**Author's Note:**

> comments = my eternal love
> 
> come talk to me on [tumblr](http://astralpenguin.tumblr.com/) : D


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